A first date, especially if you haven’t been on one in a long time, can be a nerve-wracking experience. So, don’t worry if you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, you are not alone. While the world might have moved on, human nature hasn’t and the keys to successful dating are pretty much the same.
Whether you are meeting for afternoon tea in Tunbridge Wells or a spot of boating on the lake at nearby Bewl Water, this is a great opportunity to have fun. It might be the start of a fabulous new relationship. So, if you’re new, or even not so new, to the over 50s dating scene, our caring team here at Salomons Estate have some great tips for a stress-free first date.
CHOOSE THE PERFECT VENUE
Picking the ideal spot for your rendezvous is key. Choose somewhere with a great atmosphere but not too busy – where you can chat but not feel an awkward silence if conservation slows. An intimidating restaurant or fashionable bar on a Friday night is not the best way to make you both feel comfortable. A relaxed afternoon tea in Tunbridge Wells or a cosy meal in a countryside pub make superb choices that keep the pressure off.
If you fancy something more active and are visiting Tunbridge Wells there are some amazing cultural highlights to enjoy. A stroll around the splendid Georgian district of The Pantiles or a visit to the eye-catching Scotney Castle could help to keep the conversation flowing if nerves start to get the better of you.
PREPARE YOURSELF WITH A SPOT OF PAMPERING
Quell any feelings of pre-date tension by having a bit of fun beforehand. Picking out the perfect outfit or indulging in a luxurious spa treatment will ensure that you look and feel your best. The exclusive salon Coco Blush at One Warwick Park in Tunbridge Wells is a great place to relax and rejuvenate before heading out. Remember that your date is there to get to know the real you – make sure you remain true to yourself.
WATCH YOUR GLASS AND KEEP YOUR HEAD
With all the chatting and excitement it is all too easy to have one too many glasses of wine. Drinking alcohol on a first date is perfectly normal but keep things under control and stay safe. Perhaps, if a date is going well, add a glass of Prosecco to our traditional afternoon tea in Tunbridge Wells. Just the one glass provides a little bit of sparkle to what could be a very special occasion.
DON’T PUT PRESSURE ON YOURSELF
Don’t put undue pressure on yourself, particularly after a long break from dating. This person you are meeting may not be ‘the one’ and that is okay. Try to treat every date as an exciting opportunity for a nice time out with a potential new friend. If something develops from that then great. Expecting too much from a first date will only end in disappointment, and perhaps a missed opportunity.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY
Ultimately, the success of a first date depends on how well you connect, and that really depends on how well you communicate. First date butterflies can get the better of even the most skilful social operator. But the basic rules of communication are really quite straightforward – make eye contact, smile often and ask interesting but not intrusive questions. Your date will feel as nervous as you, even if they don’t look like it.
If you are worried about conversation drying up, think about what you might talk about beforehand and what subjects you want to avoid. You want topics that interest you both, that are respectful and help you get to know each other.
Traditionally religion and politics have been big no-nos for a first date, but what about other personal matters? For example, what happens if you are asked about a previous relationship? Think about how you might deal with it, rather than reacting on impulse at the time. Emotions can run higher when we are feeling nervous.
BE WARM AND FRIENDLY BUT RESPECT PERSONAL SPACE
How much we like to be touched is entirely a matter of personal choice. Even if you are a hugger not everyone else is, at least on a first date. Making someone feel uncomfortable is unlikely to lead to a second date so try to keep touch to a minimum. If physical contact is absolutely necessary then keep it warm and friendly rather than intimidating.
ABOVE ALL, STAY SAFE
With the amount of life experience over 50s have, it is too easy to feel that you already know how to keep yourself safe. That may be so but it is still worth being reminded of the simple steps to protect yourself. These apply to everyone, men and women, young and not so young.
- Meet in a public place with plenty of people around.
- Let a friend or family member know who you are meeting, where and at what time you might be back. You don’t have to tell them it is ‘a date’.
- Never feel under pressure to continue with a date if you start to feel uncomfortable. Remember, safety first.
Even if your first date is in the distant past, there is plenty for the over 50s to see and do here at Salomons Estate. As well as the perfect afternoon tea in Tunbridge Wells taken in our light and airy conservatory we also have a range of indulgent lunch and dinner options.
For nature and history buffs, our 36 acres of beautiful parkland, woods and landscaped gardens complement our stunning Victorian mansion and its host of cultural curiosities perfectly. There are few hotels in the country that can boast both an in-house museum and private Victorian science theatre!
With exclusive events running throughout the year there are so many reasons to visit us. Call our team at Salomons Estate today to begin planning your visit, it is sure not to be your last.